Recovering from heartbreak

Changing landscape- new love?

divorcehealingblog

So after my 10 year relationship with my wife fell away, I was in a tumultuous state of mind. And just in the last couple of month, things have started to be very different.

I am now beginning to flirt with the possibility of another relationship. I am not going to disclose anything about the person involved yet.

But I did not plan for this, because I thought I would have a lot of time to figure out my mistakes and get over grief.

So somewhere between my musical forays and mountain biking, I found someone.

This leaves me at a strange crossroads. I don’t want to get into anything, before I completely recover.

I have been fairly strong in my recovery. At the end of my four months in recovery, I feel positive and happy. And there is no signs of the depression that was nipping at the heels.

I feel physically good, I find random women smile at me. I walk into any place feeling friendly and positive.

So what now? It is possible that I will be or already am in a romantic relationship. A very passionate one from what I can see.

Will I lose sight of my recovery? Will I lose the insight I have gained, and go back to my old patterns.

I am writing these down, so the patterns are more obvious, if and when they happen.

  1. I need to live my life. If I find myself expecting my partner to make me happy. then things are going wrong.
  2. Can I be selfless. Can I give myself fully to my new partner, without holding back.
  3. Can I choose to not focus on my partners flaws, physical and otherwise?

I want to give all of myself to this person and the relationship. But its critical I continue to do the things that drove me here.

So it seems I do have a second chance, just not with the person I thought.

 

 

 

Published by divorcehealingblog

The meaning of the “second chance” I seek has been changed a lot. I started writing this in the hope of saving my marriage. But as time showed me , that was futile and misguided. Now I seek a second chance to be father to my six year old boy. He will no longer live with me starting aug2018. I hope to use this blog to allow him an insight into his father. I would want him to read this when he is older. My original synopsis A man in crisis. I am a 30 -something man. My 10 year marriage shattering in front of my eyes. I have decided that writing helps. I am hoping to heal from whats coming, but before that I have to deal with it. Experience the pain, I know I will feel, when my wife walks out the door. I have a little boy who I don't want to lose. And I am scared. Of restarting my life from scratch. I am hoping to find kindred spirits on the blog, who are going through or have gone through what I am experiencing. But I have hope, and I have faith. To some degree, I hope to reconcile my marriage.

4 thoughts on “Changing landscape- new love?”

  1. New love is a good thing, and this new beginning sounds very promising! Still, it can be difficult to move forward when there’s a lot of baggage. When I met my husband, he was still recovering from the break-down of an 8-year relationship and was seeing a therapist to help him work through his guilt over what had happened. I think it helped him a lot, and it certainly took a lot of the pressure off of me–he had someone else to talk to about the past, and could focus on the future when he was with me. I know that counseling isn’t for everyone (and you seem like a resilient person who probably doesn’t need it!), but I think it’s good to know that the option is there!

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  2. Wonderful to hear about this. The fact that you are even contemplating the possibility of starting afresh in some way is a step up. Keep going 🙂 I cannot help but feel compelled to sing in a thin pitchy voice, “Mud mud ke na dekh mud mud ke”.

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