Changing landscape- new love?

So after my 10 year relationship with my wife fell away, I was in a tumultuous state of mind. And just in the last couple of month, things have started to be very different. I am now beginning to flirt with the possibility of another relationship. I am not going to disclose anything about the…

Whirlwind

I have been up to a lot lately. Here is a brief synopsis: Riding Music Working out Parenting Romance? Riding. I have been riding this weekend. Did three rides last week. Enjoying my new bike. The longest ride was 4.5 hours long, over 16 miles of terrain and 2500 feet of climbing. Video of my…

Betrayal, lies and deceit.

As these things often go, more has come to light. It was revealed to me that my wife had been flirting with other men for better part of a year before I knew . I stayed at home , watched the little man, and encouraged her to have a life outside the marriage. And a…

Old habits

I am beginning to notice that I have a few old patterns of thought that are re-surfacing. Why bother? When doing things that are not instantly gratifying or challenging, I keep wondering about why I bother. Here I should remind myself, that if I don't try , there is only one future for me. I…

Is this a bad house?

My son asked me while chomping on some grapes at breakfast. I said, "What do you mean?" What he said broke my heart. He said, "Is that why mom went to live in the new house?" I was speechless. Things like this are a reminder that the little guy is trying to process the changes…

A month of little adventures

When in december , my wife decided that our marriage was done, I was sent into free fall. Its hard to fathom that so much time has gone by.  My resolve was to not let this period of trauma go to waste. Instead use the motivation to push myself forward. This month will have a…

A weekend spent well.

I have not written in a while. Some of my new habits have kept me busy. And I also drove about 700 miles or so to Los Angeles and back this weekend, with my son in tow. It was a fantastic time for the little man. He played with his cousin. And we went to…

Crawling towards the light.

This sunday, I trudged my a 2200 ft hill over a 7 mile hike. I had 55lbs on my shoulders, and it was positively grueling. My shoulders took the brunt of it. My legs were mostly ok. But when I was at the summit. I felt this sense of calm. I looked at the vista,…

Progress piecemeal

Today is Saturday. And last week was not too bad at work. But I was a homebody mostly. My therapist had advised that I try to get morebin touch with my feelings. So I tried.  I felt sad often, but I did not feel the powerful pull on my heart. I suppose I refuse myself…