Recovering from heartbreak

Changing landscape- new love?

So after my 10 year relationship with my wife fell away, I was in a tumultuous state of mind. And just in the last couple of month, things have started to be very different.

I am now beginning to flirt with the possibility of another relationship. I am not going to disclose anything about the person involved yet.

But I did not plan for this, because I thought I would have a lot of time to figure out my mistakes and get over grief.

So somewhere between my musical forays and mountain biking, I found someone.

This leaves me at a strange crossroads. I don’t want to get into anything, before I completely recover.

I have been fairly strong in my recovery. At the end of my four months in recovery, I feel positive and happy. And there is no signs of the depression that was nipping at the heels.

I feel physically good, I find random women smile at me. I walk into any place feeling friendly and positive.

So what now? It is possible that I will be or already am in a romantic relationship. A very passionate one from what I can see.

Will I lose sight of my recovery? Will I lose the insight I have gained, and go back to my old patterns.

I am writing these down, so the patterns are more obvious, if and when they happen.

  1. I need to live my life. If I find myself expecting my partner to make me happy. then things are going wrong.
  2. Can I be selfless. Can I give myself fully to my new partner, without holding back.
  3. Can I choose to not focus on my partners flaws, physical and otherwise?

I want to give all of myself to this person and the relationship. But its critical I continue to do the things that drove me here.

So it seems I do have a second chance, just not with the person I thought.




4 thoughts on “Changing landscape- new love?”

  1. New love is a good thing, and this new beginning sounds very promising! Still, it can be difficult to move forward when there’s a lot of baggage. When I met my husband, he was still recovering from the break-down of an 8-year relationship and was seeing a therapist to help him work through his guilt over what had happened. I think it helped him a lot, and it certainly took a lot of the pressure off of me–he had someone else to talk to about the past, and could focus on the future when he was with me. I know that counseling isn’t for everyone (and you seem like a resilient person who probably doesn’t need it!), but I think it’s good to know that the option is there!


  2. Wonderful to hear about this. The fact that you are even contemplating the possibility of starting afresh in some way is a step up. Keep going 🙂 I cannot help but feel compelled to sing in a thin pitchy voice, “Mud mud ke na dekh mud mud ke”.


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