So after my 10 year relationship with my wife fell away, I was in a tumultuous state of mind. And just in the last couple of month, things have started to be very different.
I am now beginning to flirt with the possibility of another relationship. I am not going to disclose anything about the person involved yet.
But I did not plan for this, because I thought I would have a lot of time to figure out my mistakes and get over grief.
So somewhere between my musical forays and mountain biking, I found someone.
This leaves me at a strange crossroads. I don’t want to get into anything, before I completely recover.
I have been fairly strong in my recovery. At the end of my four months in recovery, I feel positive and happy. And there is no signs of the depression that was nipping at the heels.
I feel physically good, I find random women smile at me. I walk into any place feeling friendly and positive.
So what now? It is possible that I will be or already am in a romantic relationship. A very passionate one from what I can see.
Will I lose sight of my recovery? Will I lose the insight I have gained, and go back to my old patterns.
I am writing these down, so the patterns are more obvious, if and when they happen.
- I need to live my life. If I find myself expecting my partner to make me happy. then things are going wrong.
- Can I be selfless. Can I give myself fully to my new partner, without holding back.
- Can I choose to not focus on my partners flaws, physical and otherwise?
I want to give all of myself to this person and the relationship. But its critical I continue to do the things that drove me here.
So it seems I do have a second chance, just not with the person I thought.