I spent most of the day yesterday talking and seeking comfort of others. I spent about three hours on the phone. And then met a new friend for coffee for about 2 hours. And then went out in the evening for another 6 hours. So I spent more than 11 hours just seeking comfort from other.
I felt good. I felt loved. I felt some hope.
Next morning, was a little better. Wife and I talked about the prospects of separate living arrangements. It hurt a little. But I am trying to embrace whats coming.
I am trying to accept the loss. Trying to let go of her. Trying to tell myself that maybe I am better off without her.
I have been telling myself that I should accept that there will be another man in her life soon.
In all of the conversation I got two conflicting pieces of advice on how to move forward.
- Dream of a future: Visualizing where I will be in two years and motivate myself for the day-to-day
- One day at a time: Dont build up expectation for the future, but try to love the day-to-day for its own sake.
I have been doing the former, but I find, that it leaves lot of room for assessing if that dream is any closer. And that leads to disappointment.
The danger with the latter is that I don’t know if there will be enough motivation for the small stuff without bigger goals.
How would you move forward when struck by grief?