I am beginning to notice that I have a few old patterns of thought that are re-surfacing.
- Why bother? When doing things that are not instantly gratifying or challenging, I keep wondering about why I bother. Here I should remind myself, that if I don’t try , there is only one future for me. I will likely be alone, fat, and just ghosting through life , corpulent with hedonism.
- Moping is at my core. I have this horrible horrible mindset, where melancholy and moping are considered profound feelings, whereas joy is seen as a temporary childish thing. Wow! When you write it down, you realize what a negative person you are.
- Other people are naive. I constantly get the feeling that others don’t know whats going on. Do I really have the gall to think this way? My life is in dis-array, and there are so may things broken, and I still have to the audacity to be judgmental. I should remind myself that I am nobody to judge. I have a life of my own to rebuild. Its better to get busy with you life, than to spend a second judging others.
- I have a booboo! I didn’t work out yesterday, despite a plan to do so. Why? Because I had a mildly rough day. I can do better. Can wait for good days all the time.
I have been having a tough time sleeping again. Probably all the coffee I have been drinking and not using my apnea machine. So time to get that in order.
A few things to focus on this week.
- Follow through on workout plans
- Keep the house cleaner. Spend at least 1-2 days a week doing an 30-40 minute cleanup.
- Stop missing your old life. Focus on building a new one.
A few things that have been working out.
- Single dad stuff: I like it. The little man has some friends
- Overall direction with fitness: Despite the lack of laser sharp focus. I think I am moving in the right direction.
- Friendships: A new friendship has brought me some joy.
- All set to take my mountain bike for its maiden ride.