Its a precious thing, the love between a man and woman. Two people investing their dreams in one another. Some people are lucky to find such a bond that lasts a lifetime.
But, for me and my wife, this was not to be. How I loved her. And how I despised her at the same time. I despised that she would not talk to me, not reach out to me. I imagined our love without any barrier. But she could not really open up to me about things that really bothered her.
I dreamt of a life, where I would give up anything for her. One in which she would love me and the life I could provide for her. We would cherish the joys and memories for a lifetime. Two old souls watching our grandchildren grow.
But somewhere, along the way, our dream was shattered. Our love was consumed. By reality. By my weakness to be the man I promised her I would be. By our insecurities.
I know that it will be years, before my love for my wife will be extinguished. And I will welcome it. For my love rings hollow. And reminds me of all I have lost.
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Published by divorcehealingblog
The meaning of the “second chance” I seek has been changed a lot. I started writing this in the hope of saving my marriage. But as time showed me , that was futile and misguided. Now I seek a second chance to be father to my six year old boy. He will no longer live with me starting aug2018. I hope to use this blog to allow him an insight into his father. I would want him to read this when he is older.
My original synopsis
A man in crisis. I am a 30 -something man. My 10 year marriage shattering in front of my eyes. I have decided that writing helps. I am hoping to heal from whats coming, but before that I have to deal with it. Experience the pain, I know I will feel, when my wife walks out the door.
I have a little boy who I don't want to lose. And I am scared. Of restarting my life from scratch. I am hoping to find kindred spirits on the blog, who are going through or have gone through what I am experiencing.
But I have hope, and I have faith. To some degree, I hope to reconcile my marriage.
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A second chance? 
I feel like many of us go down that path these days, it could be a generational thing or we just have different paths than our ancestors.
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