How can I respect myself more?

Before I delve deep into self-compassion and love. I think I need to re-define self-respect?

What is that I regret/loathe the most about myself?

1. I let my body go.
2. I pick up things and don’t finish them.
3. I engage in many addictive behaviors.
4. I don’t give enough of myself and to others.
5. I dream of things and never do them or pursue them.

I am sort of making progress on the first.

For the second, I am hoping to pick a few things and finish some of them. This I think is the most important thing for me to overcome. I must be the man who does what he says he will do.

• Climb a mountain.
• Finish my tae-kwon-do black belt.
• Learn a language.
• Learn programming. Finish an algorithms course.
• Finish reading some of the books I have hoarded/borrowed.

I have not engaged in any of my addictive habits in more than a few months. My self-control has not given me too much satisfaction strangely. I still feel the pull of these things.

• No binge eating
• No gaming for hours
• No watching netflix for hours.

My dreams involve grand adventures. Being more gregarious and having interesting stories to tell. I dream of a career change. Do something different with my life. I dream of building a passive income stream. 

I don’t know how many of these things are feasible to pursue while I grapple with this strangulating grief. But I also don’t know how to deal with grief, if I don’t fight for these things.

 

 

 

 

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