Recovering from heartbreak

Terrified

I woke up today feeling all wrong. I felt like a failure. I felt that everyone who has known me and will know me will know that I could not stay married to a woman I loved.

Things at home have been not too bad. But there are constant reminders that she has moved on.

As I go through this process of rebuilding , I am doing many things to help me build confidence and engage experiences which in turn will fill my life.

As I pile on what seems like a lot of positive experiences, I am still ,regularly, hit by pangs of fear, insecurity , sadness, hopelessness and loneliness.

Will I ever be happy again?  Will I ever find love?

And in that moment, I feel like all is lost and that its not worth doing anything at all.

Today has been a tough day.  Feel crushed and unmotivated. Had some fleeting dark thoughts. The kind that scares me.

I don’t want to go into a spiral of depression. But I don’t know what else I could possibly do to feel better.

I can only hope that with constant work at being positive and learning to grow my mind, body and soul, I will indeed, break free from all of the pain I feel.

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Terrified”

  1. Going through the same challenging time. You are much braver that I to put it all out here. Just because others might judge you does not mean that you are a bad person. It is one of the mantras that has kept me going over the past couple of months. Hang in there.

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      1. I can truly empathize with you. I wake up at night sometimes feeling very lonely and very unsure what my future will hold. Luckily for me I have an extremely busy job and this helps distract me for the painful emotions. I have found that there are a great group of people here have very sound ideas and this has given me a great deal of insight why my relationship has gone of the rails.

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