Hindsight is 20/20.
At first, I was shocked. It was all so terrible. My wife wanted to walk out on our marriage. It seemed like a good enough marriage to me. I loved her. I made her a priority. So what went wrong?
A lot of heartache later, I know the answer. We had our differences, and I tried constantly to find middle ground. But I was aggressive and relentless in that search, believing that it was good for us.
I never really got down to her level, and tried to let her be. Never gave her validation for her choice to be a stay at home mom. I took away from her the belief that being a SAHM was a worthwile endeavor.
Doing this destroyed her self esteem. It destroyed her desire to be a loving wife and sometimes an attentive mother. I tried to give allowances to her to lift her up. But in honesty, I should have made her feel appreciated for whatever she was doing.
I was always working towards a marriage I wanted, and never enjoying the marriage I was in. This is and was my greatest flaw. An inability to accept my wife for who she was.
What a tragedy. Love is not enough. At least the love I offered. A pedantic love. Overbearing. Demanding change.
Her poor broken and hardened heart. Desperate now to seek validation from anything outside her marriage. All she sees is a wreckage of her spirit when she looks at our decade together.
I think now that there is little hope for us. I just hope I have some time to make ammends to my friends of ten years. To let her know , that I was wrong. That I hope she finds whats she is seeking.
My love . My friend. My wife. I am so sorrowful for our loss. I pray that god will heal us. Together or apart.